~ Paris Hilton ~

Paris Hilton keeps on suckin’ in ‘08.
In other recent news, Paris Hilton’s new flick, the “The Hottie or the Nottie,” was a box office disaster, raking in a mere 27 thousand dollars.
Cough.
Is anyone surprised by this? The girl has as much acting ability as my blind/mute auntie, Cocoa. No, that’s cruel to place my auntie […]

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Everybody’s talking about the bitch nobody’s talking about.
Looks like I started a trend. Back on June 14, I swore off talking about that person who shall continue to remain nameless. US Weekly decided that they had had enough of the Whore Who Has No Name as well. And even MSNBC has gotten into the act, […]

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Tinkerbell’s bitch is loose. She’s out of jail, too.
You know who I’m talking about. The one whose name I’ve sworn to never to utter again has been released from the Los Angeles correctional system and is roaming the streets like a stray Chihuahua. There goes the summer.
Be careful out there.
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Paris Hilton might be getting the shaft in jail, but it’s a strap-on.
The Los Angeles Times has been doing some real, what do you call it… investigative journalism? Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, they found out some interesting data about the Paris Hilton incarceration:
Had Hilton left jail for good after four days, her stint behind bars […]

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Paris Hilton is now a god-fearing bish.
Paris Hilton had a nice telephone chat with Barbara Walters:
According to ABC News, the call came after Hilton’s mother, Kathy, phoned Walters. During the conversation, the 26-year-old socialite called her mom on another line, found out her mother was talking to Walters, and then called Walters collect. All jail […]

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Paris Hilton cries in a police car.
Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood, but for her full 45 day sentence. MSNBC just reported that the judge did not acknowledge a reduction to 23 days.
Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom,” and shouted “It’s just not right!”
One witness described the […]

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Paris Hilton crying after being arrested and handcuffed.
TMZ has just released this shot of Paris handcuffed in the back of the squad car and crying. Man, I can totally relate, although this is a little early in the weekend for me to get arrested. But trust me, I bawl my eyes out every time—cursing my […]

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Paris Hilton is handcuffed and headed to court.
Wow, Paris Hilton has just been handcuffed and forced into the backseat of a car, and for once this isn’t one of her theme parties. The LA County Sheriff’s department has been ordered to go nab her ass after she tried to “phone in” her court appearance this […]

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