Paris Hilton might be getting the shaft in jail, but it’s a strap-on.The Los Angeles Times has been doing some real, what do you call it… investigative journalism? Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, they found out some interesting data about the Paris Hilton incarceration:
Had Hilton left jail for good after four days, her stint behind bars would have been similar to those served by 60% of those inmates.
But after a judge sent her back to jail Friday, Hilton’s attorney announced that she would serve the full 23 days. That means that Hilton will end up serving more time than 80% of other people in similar situations.
OK, that’s not the disturbing part. According to a recently-released Public Relations Society of America report that I’m totally making up, Paris Hilton has received free publicity valued in excess of the entire economies of 73 nations, all for getting boinked on camera and going to jail.
That’s it… no more Paris news from the Hack. Unless this ho wins a Nobel Peace Prize or does a full color HDTV-with-Dolby-surround-sound ass-to-mouth scene with an equestrian-level animal, I ain’t writing about her anymore.
6 comments... add one!
1 Michelle || 3:24 pm on 6.14.07
I think your blog is the only one I ran into saying that says that you’re going to stop writing about Paris… haha every other person is constantly writing about her. Can you imagine what she would look like when she gets out after serving her time?
2 Big Links || 8:22 pm on 6.14.07
[…] Paris Hilton will be serving more time than most people in her situation - Celebrity Hack […]
3 The Bitch is Back | Celebrity Hack || 9:36 am on 6.26.07
[…] know who I’m talking about. The one who I’ve sworn to never to utter her name again has been released from the Los Angeles correctional system and is roaming the streets like a stray […]
4 US Weekly, MSNBC Join Celebrity Hack in Not Talking About That Nameless Skank who Was in Jail Recently | Celebrity Hack || 1:57 pm on 6.28.07
[…] I started a trend. Back on June 14, I swore off talking about that person who shall continue to remain nameless. US Weekly decided that they had had enough of the Whore Who Has No Name as well. And even MSNBC […]
5 JOE CAPRIO/CITYLIFEPRODUCTIONS || 11:00 pm on 7.11.07
HILTON IS STAYING UNDER THE RADAR. KNOW LETS SEE HOW LONG SHE CAN GO IN HER FIGHT AGAINST CELEBRITY FAME WITHDRAWAL.
6 I Know What Died This Weekend | Celebrity Hack || 4:21 pm on 7.30.07
[…] disinherited ex-con will likely be producing another sex tape soon, and if it co-stars an equestrian-level animal, I’ll start using her name […]