Salma Hayek is Pregnant

A very pregnant Salma Hayek, as seen in the picture above, doesn’t know whether to eat you or tell you to quit taking her damn picture because she’s just not feeling too chipper today. Either way, I figure we should all take this moment to analyze this monstrosity of a woman.

Ah, the miracle of childbirth. How is it that a woman who is damn sexy can turn into such a beast of burden? Seriously, she must be carrying a great dane. I bet her ankles hurt like hell, too.

Oh, and what’s gonna happen when she starts lactating? The poor kid (or dinosaur, or elephant, or rhino, or whatever it is) is gonna drown!