via Vanity FairSo of course you’ve heard rumors for years that Tom Cruise is gay. There was even that wild rumor from two years ago that Tom had to strike a quick contractual deal with Katie Holmes in the summer of 2005 because he got caught in bed with Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. Cut the deal, jump up and down on Oprah’s couch, and up the voltage on the lawyer’s shock collars. Disaster averted.
Well, never fear Cruise fans. We’ve now got documented proof that Tom is a loser heterosexual with bad hair plugs. No self-respecting gay man would be seen at the grocery store, much less the Oscars, with these sprouts showing. It’s too bad he used his Scientology Doctor Referral Network card to find a rug guru, but at least now he can be done with those pesky queer rumors.
15 comments... add one!
1 maarge || 5:46 pm on 2.27.07
You’re kind of being an idiot.
He’s got gel in his hair. Not plugs. I don’t even care for the guy myself but someone’s got to point it out.
I know who does his hair and he happens to be a hairy guy. Not bald yet. Sorry.
2 Hack || 5:53 pm on 2.27.07
Oh, you’re right. My bad, he is gay.
3 blah blah || 8:49 pm on 2.27.07
What does bad hair have to do with tom being gay?
4 maarge || 11:31 pm on 2.27.07
He’s totally gay.
5 sam || 8:24 am on 2.28.07
Not even Elton John would go on a gay Cruise.
6 Barry || 2:23 pm on 2.28.07
Celebrityhack, hack, …cal I call you hack? Hack, you don’t even - you’re glib. You don’t even know what hairplugs are. If you start talking about cutting edge folicle treatment options, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Hack, okay? That’s what I’ve done. Then you go and you say where’s the medical test? Where’s the balding test that says how many hairplugs you’re supposed to get? Because just knowing people who are getting hairplugs isn’t enough. You should be a little bit more responsible in knowing really -
7 Ballow || 7:49 pm on 2.28.07
Dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Its gel jackass.
8 chas || 10:38 pm on 2.28.07
man gel!
9 Tom Cruise Is Gay by The Gossip Rag || 5:44 pm on 3.3.07
[…] after one look at Mr. Handsome I have to wish he’s not. So many girls’ hearts would break at the thought of not being […]
10 hair today gone tomorrow || 5:26 am on 3.11.07
Totally funny post. Sad to see that no one gets it.
No joke, but I was getting a hair transplant the day after the Oscars with one of the world’s preeminent hair transplant surgeons. With 15 hours in the chair we talked about pretty much everything. He was shocked to have seen Tom Cruise the night before in Hi-Def with “terrible hair plugs”. He even knew quite confidently the “butcher to the stars” who probably did the work. BTW the interview with Barbara Walters is more evidence to this effect.
I wish I didn’t have to know this, but “plugs” are transplant grafts that contain multiple follicular units. All the best docs haven’t used plugs for well over a decade. Instead they use single follicular units — the absolute best docs extract single follicular units from the donor area (as opposed to making an ear-to-ear incision). I’m not gay, but I can’t imagine a gay man who’s got it together not knowing this info.
11 Lara || 12:27 am on 3.21.07
Tommy tunes is soooo gay, insiders in the biz really know this fact.
12 Miep || 11:05 am on 4.4.07
We do transplants, so I know what I am talking about.
Before farting away on this ‘we-know-it-all’ one of voice, please get some professional info.
It is available everywhere.
I hate to disappoint some of you, but what you mistake for PLUGS is, indeed, gel.
Maybe he had a hair job done, but that is not visible on this photo.
I think he is a very handsome man, who looks better now that he has matured.
His adoration of that ‘church’ is a bit of a turn-off ….
13 Xenu, We Have a Problem | Celebrity Hack || 10:55 am on 4.23.07
[…] conflict with other religions or other religious practices. However, confession of Brother Tom’s “hobby activities” could lead to serious scandal. Monitor situation carefully, and immediately report any sign of […]
14 billybob || 3:41 pm on 6.26.07
I don’t know which is funnier, the debate over Cruise’s orientation or the obvious overly sensitive bald guys. That may be just gel, but while it thickens what hair is left, gel also shows where hair used to be a lot more than a good comb and some spray. Anybody got some old shots of his hairline we can compare?
Maybe we’d have a more productive discussion of just how gay he is? On a sliding scale, who lives in Tommy’s closet? Is it Carson Kressley? Cujo? Ross “The Intern” Matthews? Ant, Bruce Villanch, John Travolta, Rock Hudson, Mario Lopez, Dan Butler (”Frasier”), Derek Jeter, Tommy Lee? (Okay, not Tommy. You wouldn’t be able to close the door…) Or is it Isaiah Washington (Dr. McStupid)?
I put him somewhere between Travolta and Hudson. The women love him; too many declared gay men love him; you know he’s gotta be; but there’s just no smoking gun (yet).
Just where would you put Tom on the (well lubricated) sliding scale?
15 Bob Sackamano || 10:49 pm on 2.21.08
Tom takes it up the poop chute.