Britney Spears and the Whale Tail Twang

~ 2.8.07 ~

Britney Spears Thong Pullvia the Bosh

I’m not sure if she’s trashed on screwdrivers or simply bored unconscious with watching the chick in front of her practice calisthenics, but Britney certainly doesn’t seem to notice the pervy freak tugging on her Wal-Mart thong. Maybe she’s too busy trying to figure out how to squeeze a shower into her hectic partying schedule.

The lollipop-sucking, alky-swilling mommy of two has been creating joke fodder all week, so we thought we’d help you out and put all the action in one place for your wisecracking pleasure:

  • She puked on soon-to-be-ex boyfriend Isaac Cohen’s lap after a night of boozin’
  • Realizing he’s not all that fond of drunk chicks with stretch marks, Isaac dropped her like a bad habit
  • But who needs men when you can drink Tang?
  • …and now strangers are yanking on her thong, seemingly without consequence

Right now, it’s a dead heat between Paris and Britney for “patron saint of Celebrity Hack.”

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17 comments... add one!

  • 1 dav1d.net || 1:13 am on 2.9.07

    Hey, these say Tuesday and it’s freaking Friday, dumb skank!

  • 2 ckilgore || 2:09 pm on 2.9.07

    Wait! Those are covering up my hickey!

  • 3 HART (1-800-HART) || 2:32 pm on 2.10.07

    Why isn’t this match working? How do other people light their smokes? Fire! C’mon match. Burn! Flame on. Wait. Over there. That guy is . flicking his match? Let me see. Flick this match. Fire. Ooooooh! BoooHooo

  • 4 dav1d.net || 3:20 pm on 2.10.07

    Listen, I think you DO have these on backwards!

  • 5 sam || 8:36 pm on 2.10.07

    But all in all, we can at least give thanks that she got rid of the bad influence in her life, Kevin Federline.

  • 6 Snippy Girl || 12:32 am on 2.11.07

    “I’m a Skank 4 U”

  • 7 gals2007 || 1:17 am on 2.11.07

    I’m feeling something down there …
    another child??!!??

  • 8 Jennie || 9:57 am on 2.11.07

    Hey, what does this tattoo say? World’s Best Mom? - but I thought for a moment you were Britney Spears!

  • 9 maecuff || 6:35 pm on 2.12.07

    Britney’s “Thong Handler” was fired immediately.

  • 10 mojodelirium || 8:45 am on 2.13.07

    “I’ll bet Rosie O’Donnell can’t wait to get a whiff of these.”

  • 11 jessibear23 || 11:48 am on 2.15.07

    Shh!!! Be vewy vewy quiet…im hunting panties…

  • 12 ducci23 || 12:08 pm on 2.15.07

    “geez, there werent brown stripes on the panties when i put them on…”

  • 13 NIKWEAV || 2:07 pm on 2.15.07

    Higher, Higher!!! Damn, I’m so loose I still can’t feel it.

  • 14 Pickle Spears || 4:20 pm on 2.15.07

    a little more to the left, yeah, that feels gooooooood!

  • 15 jaguar1966 || 6:30 pm on 2.15.07

    Awe come on Paris.. I told you I don’t like those walmart wedgies.

  • 16 Hagan || 7:14 pm on 2.15.07

    Step 3: Profit!

  • 17 lkrisbaby708 || 12:43 am on 2.17.07

    she remembered her panties…damnit, i wanted some easy access…oh wait, she is already

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